I am starting this site again. It’s mine, after all.
I got ahead of myself last year. Before I fully accepted my new life, my new personality and what I had to face living with for the rest of my days. At least, in part.
On November 29, 2016, I had a stroke. More specifically, an anoxic brain injury resulting from a gliosis lucanar stroke. To put it in layman’s term (simple, not ignorant), it’s like tiny beavers built a dam by my spinal cord and dammed the river that is the blood supply to my brain. When the blood is halted for a minute, or a few, the brain is deprived of blood and oxygen. Part of my brain is dead, and it’s kind of important parts.
I have a long professional history as a finance expert. Almost 30 years. It’s mostly missing now. I can’t even balance my check book, not that there’s much there to balance. How much does it say I have? That’s how much is left, so what is there to balance? Just use as little as possible. You can’t spend what you don’t have.
This space will be used for personal thoughts and memories. Memories are an important part of my recovery and my overall mental health. And I can record it here and look back, because I forget some and need reminders.
I will also journal how my recovery is going. An ongoing update of my journey as a stroke survivor – what I have been through and how I got to this point. I am still coping with most of it. Grieving for the person I used to be and who I will become. That’s a hard task, but I have a very good mentor. She survived. So can I.
There are many days that I wonder why it just didn’t kill me. That’s true. The struggle. Being alone. Feeling that I didn’t matter. I did to some, and they kept me alive this last year. You know who you are. THANK YOU. I owe you my life and I will never let you go or intentionally exit your life. You’ll have to chase me way. With pitchforks and torches.