Good News – We’re Still Alive

I know….I haven’t published an update in months. I can explain.

My award from Social Security came through. There was a snoopy dance and rib eye fir dinner and I took care of:

1. My car registration

2. The overdue rental fees on my storage units

3. Cutty (Dad’s Cutlass) finally got fixed

4. I bought camping gear

5. I learned how to camp

6. I discovered that having Social Security doesn’t change a damn thing

I have an income. I no longer qualify for food stamps because I’m not poor anymore. Well, I qualified for $15 a month. A steady diet of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches is in my future!

I’m a homeless diabetic. Today, the Church that provides meals to the homeless served lasagna and tasteless vegetables. They had some yogurt and mixed fruit. I ate that. And half a Turkey sandwich from 7 Eleven that was on special. $2 Wednesday!

If I had a home, I could cook. Make meals. Plan meals and freeze. Buy cheap frozen dinners when they’re on sale and never have to worry about my “numbers” again (blood glucose/A1C). I’d never have to worry about needing a bathroom or where my bed would be tonight. I wouldn’t have to worry about being seen when I am incontinent and lean up against the car or sit on a picnic bench to pee for 10 minutes. There is no communication between the down below and central command. The stroke severed most communication and I don’t see a doctor until December. I’m still trying to get a portable commode and Depends since my insurance will cover it, but the Company doesn’t have a street address to send it too. I don’t have a street address? I’m homeless? Well, the doctor needs to tell them for it to be approved. Medicare doesn’t know that I don’t live in an approved domicile. And I can’t specify that, only a doctor.

?????WTAF??????

And I’m “car camping” in Fremont tonight so I can see my endocrinologist tomorrow so I can get my diabetic medication refilled SINCE SHE HASN’T ANSWERED ANY CVS PHARMACY REQUEST FOR 3 MONTHS!!! And she’s leaving the practice next week, and yesterday they were going to schedule an appointment with another endocrinologist in that group in a month, but since I wanted to file a complaint with her supervisor, I can see her at 10 this morning.

How convenient. I’m still bitching to my medical provider. This is utter bullshit.

There’s no emergency housing in Alameda County, just shelter beds with rules and regs and “treatment” for any of my addictions. I’m vaping not smoking anymore. I don’t do drugs, unless they are prescribed to keep me alive. I’m not an alchie.

There are days I sleep 20 hours. There are spans up to 74 hours that I can’t sleep a wink. And a shelter won’t care, other than see a doctor. I have! I had a stroke. I have a TBI. As the damage is quantified, strategies can be developed to deal with each issue. Except I have no one working with me.

And I’m homeless with my friend who is an alcoholic, desperately needs spinal surgery and is undergoing a biopsy to gauge the progress of his prostate cancer so he can have radiation, not radical surgery to make him impotent and incontinent (like me). He’s accepted his gayness since his Mom died. He hasn’t had the time/opportunity/freedom/courage to be “gay” as he wants to be yet. Neither of us has found the love we have always needed – our other half.

Will and I have a friendship that is almost that relationship, but we aren’t each other’s half. If you have it, then you know. I’ve come close a couple of times, I’ve been married twice, I’ve had boyfriends. Ans.my heart has been broken more than once. I’m a great hag, but fail to be a good wife or even just a girlfriend. Breasts too small, butt too wide, not enough airhead or bubbly dunce that let’s a man feel manly.

Now, being homeless, and failure at adulting to the list of faults.

I bought a new laptop with my Award money. It’s with the Geek Squad at Best Buy since in the 5th occasion of use, the screen was cracked. Having never “cracked” a screen on any piece of electronics before – laptops, cell phones, PDAs, all the way back to the first handheld games in the 70’s – I took it back to Best Buy, showed them no damage to the Laptop, but the cracked screen has gotten worse. It was the left 1″ section, now it’s 3″. They have sent it to their lab in Kentucky and I am waiting on their determination and what they will charge me for my “oopsie”. And it better be “it’s Dell’s issue, their was a flaw”.

My Sony laptop has lasted 10 years. A Dell can’t “last” 6 weeks? With it’s own heavyduty dedicated backpack it shares with nothing but it’s own power cord and mouse? The Sony had to share a bag with my Franklin and finance files. Still waiting. It’s been 2 weeks.

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