Struggling

I wish I could be upbeat, but I have nothing to be upbeat about. My life is in the toilet. I’m looking up at rock bottom.

I have the opportunity to rent an apartment, if everything works out. I am nearly broke. The house sitting gig ends on May 20th, and I have no where to go. No place to sleep. No where to eat. No where for anything. That is pretty depressing.

The legal firm representing me for my Social Security claim has processed a additional claim for Social Security Disability which I will have a greater success in securing. Hopefully. My medical care has been dismal. At least until January when I finally met someone who actually heard me.

I am really praying and hoping this happens. I am so tired of not having a place to live that is mine. It’s been 5 long years. I even miss that rat infested hellhole old house I lived in with Kevin, and we lived there for 20 years. Just having my things around me, memories, my comfort items like my couch and the dining room table that I shared meals with Dad – many good and happy memories. And my needlework that took decades to build, to create. I miss doing that work. I hope to do it again, if I ever have a place to love again.

My creativity has left me. I have no desire to create something new when my future is unknown. Well, not completely. It’s very dark right now with no hint of daylight. That is depressing in of itself.

I will include a link again, just in case. I need all the help I can get. There are still things I need to secure like electricity, water, garbage, bring my auto insurance current. Little things. I’m poor. I’m doing what I can by the skin of my teeth.

https://www.gofundme.com/wants-to-live

 

Sundry thoughts on a Sunday

First, just to get it the point of the way, that dude Blakenship that’s running for office in West Virginia? Former CEO of Massey Energy and a coal baron found guilty of conspiracy to willfully violate safety standards resulting in the death of 29 coal miners.  Since the jury was deadlocked on the possibility of the full charge which carried a 31-year term, he was found guilty of the misdemeanor which carried a 1-year mandatory term.  Ah, the Big Boss didn’t get the book thrown at him. Pity. He thinks he can run for the US Senate?  Calling Senator McConnell’s in-laws “China Family”? He used Black Persons too. He is an American Person. Self proclaimed. His word usage leaves much to be desired. His general humanity leaves much to be desired. He is the epitome of someone who should be considered deplorable.

Political statement of the day done. My thoughts still go wild, but I can state a case concisely once more. Yay for me. Oh wait…Trump hasn’t Tweeted today. What’s wrong with him? Trump is never quiet for this long. Ok, I’m done. For now,

I have been going through a hard time: physically, mentally and financially. It has pretty much sucked, since I have been doing it relatively alone. Relatively due to the few folks who have stuck with me, but none are family, just long time friends.

I am actually alone. I am divorced, after 20 years of sharing my life with someone who could never get out of his own way to listen to anyone, especially me. My adopted parents have passed, one to soon and the other not soon enough. I took care of the later for years, but full time for the last 3 years during the worst of Alzheimer’s Dementia her family denied and offered no help. More of that latter. Let’s just say I have been alone for awhile. Except for extraordinary friends who kept me going mentally and emotionally.

I haven’t lived on my own, in my own place, since 1991. A very long time. I now have the chance, the opportunity, to live on my own again. To restore a sense of normalcy to a very un-normal life. But, there is a chance.

I am publicizing my campaign through GoFundMe.com. This is one avenue I am trying to use, even though my home didn’t burn down. I am not a battered woman. Just a woman battered by life and simply beaten down.

Thank you for considering donating. I appreciate all assistance in restoring me to normalcy.

https://www.gofundme.com/wants-to-live