What We Are Not

Taking a break from the self-pity campaign and turning my ire towards the Nation. More specifically – what we are not.

We are not a Chritian Nation: We have a preacher’s daughter as a Presidential Press Secretary (close enough) who publicly accepts and promotes a lying President who has not a scrap of compassion, empathy or civility in his skin sack. A President in his former “life” cheated on all three of his wives, divorced two, would date his own daughter if she wasn’t his (Ivanka not Tiffany), rips breast-feeding babies from their mothers and charges those mothers with a felony, bullies people who don’t like him, makes fun of disabled people, and constantly promotes his lies as being the only truth, when published reports and history contradict him.  How many sins does he commit on a daily basis? Not even going to touch on his misogyny or racism, because it is so obvious if you’re not a sycophant. Exactly how much of Jesus’ teachings is he against or blatantly ignoring? What does the GOP stand for now? Government Obstruction Period? Gonna Obliterate/Ostracize Poorness? Good Ol’ Pricks (sorry ladies)?

We are not the Land of the Free or home of the Brave: Ask any person who served in the military, if taking a knee is rude or dismissive during the singing of the National Anthem? But any who do at a FOOOTBALL GAME are disrespectful? They’re SOB’s and should be FIRED? How Draft  Delayer Bone-Spurs? I can’t serve, my tootsies hurt whaaaa. I’ve got bone spurs, lardass, and I would have served if my Nation needed me, Mr. TV Ratings Douchebag. I never watched you because you suck. Is that un-American now? You make shit up as you go along and we accept it as manna from Heaven? Pleath! You’re looking more like a fascist dictator Donnie. Where’s your military getup? Maybe you could have an all girl Secret Service, kinda like Muammar Gaddafi? But, as long as we all love you, like North Koreans love their Dear Leader, we’ll be fine. For the next 10 minutes until you’re distracted by the next shiny object.

We are not a Law and Order Country: How many minorities are shot down by police with their “hands up”?  How many are beaten when in police custody? How many are in jail with bails they can’t afford to pay? How many are imprisoned for years on minor drug charges?  Or false charges? How many go free because of their position, friends, contacts or wealth?  How many children have lost their lives? How many haven’t seen justice over untested Rape Kits? Didn’t supply enough evidence? Didn’t come forward in a timely fashion? Didn’t speak up because they were scared of a powerful man? Or simply because they weren’t the right color? We allow hate groups to rally due to the 1st Amendment and we allow people to die for it too, but do we seek justice for crimes and deeds done by White Supremacists? Neo-Nazi’s? White people who hate non-White’s? The President thinks he’s walking a narrow, thin line between the factions, but he isn’t. That “both sides have good people” bullshit says plenty about him, but does he speak for the nation? Why should he? He didn’t “win” the presidency on his own.

Lady Liberty needs an *:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Yeah, it needs an asterisk.

*Except: Those from sh*t hole countries; crossed our borders illegally; Muslim, or considered Muslim; poor; will be poor; uneducated; don’t speak English; from a war-torn country; are people WE don’t like.

You may think I wrong, but I am often assumed to be foreign because of my first name. Nothing else but a first name if they see it. I’m bi-lingual but I don’t speak Spanish. Huh? How could I be bilingual then? It means speaking two languages, not English and Spanish exclusively. I speak English and Norwegian – English because I was born here and Norwegian because my adopted parents were born over there. But I speak English really good. Fancy that, I speak English proficiently and I went through the public school system.  And I read, wish some of those folks did.

I was pulled over one time in Los Angeles, the city I was born in. My truck matched a descriptor of someone that had robed a liquor store. Someone wearing a baseball cap and a sweatshirt. I was wearing that, except my blonde pony tail was through the hole in the back and I was wearing a jacket. Reds lights were flashing in my rear view mirror, so I pulled over. I was heading towards the freeway on-ramp after leaving a friend’s house, but I did something. Police officers with guns drawn came around my little Mitsubishi pickup and I just kept my hands on the wheel. An officer yelled I should get out with my hands up and get down on the ground. “What did I do, officer?” I yelled back. Some conversation between officers for a moment, and he repeated his statement again and added a “NOW”. I complied, exited the truck, but did not lay down in the muck, because it was raining.  I heard the other officer say, “It’s a girl, Steve. Doesn’t match the APB.” The yelling cop, in a perfect snit, wanted my driver’s license, so I reached back into the truck and got my wallet from my purse, slowly, since his gun was still pointed at me. This happened a few years ago, I wouldn’t risk it now. I removed my license and he finally lowered his gun and took it. After reading it over, he asked for my Green Card. “I don’t have one”. He looked at me with disgust, “Why? You illegal?” Never having been asked that question – ever – I said, “Why would you think that? I was born here, within 25 miles on this exact location, do I have to show proof?” His partner had come over, gun in it’s holster, and tried talking to “Steve”, but Steve didn’t want to hear it. “You should have your passport or birth certificate on you, if you’re legal. How are we supposed to know? Not with that name!” His partner apologized and grabbed his arm and coaxed him back to the squad car. Another officer made apologies and explained what had happened. I was free to leave.

And I did and went to the local police station, Rampart Division, and filed a complaint against that officer. I was young and thin and cute and didn’t look anything like the male Hispanic in his 30’s. Hell, I wasn’t even 30 then. But that’s the memory I have of LAPD. Thank God I wasn’t black. Just a white privileged 20-something.  I’m so sick of that phrase, but I see those who are everyday, along with the Blacks, Asians and Latins who think they are better than me. Why are they better? Because they are not me and my “color”. I hate racism. It’s evil and ugly and solves nothing.

And we are devolving as humans. How is the current discourse continuing our evolution? We bicker and have wars of words on Twitter, Facebook, our social media du jour. And our President stands as an example with his Twitter following. His words that devisive, factually incoherent, and so many lies. Trumplandia. We should get used to that. That will be our new name if he has anything to do with it. Trump in huge golden letters on the White House. Just another Trump Tower. Pity there is no model match in Russia. Don Jr. couldn’t get it together and he’s been trying for years? Or was that Donnie? Or some other flunkie, such as Manafort. 17 indictments Don, but Russian Collusion is fake news. I’m nostalgic for Nixon. He was so believable when he said,”I’m not a crook!”

If wishes were fishes, we could all walk on water

You know, I want to write a happy post. A positive one. I just don’t have it in me.

I am typically positive, at least uplifting in a cynical way. “It’s not so bad – it could always be worse!” Yeah, THAT came back and bit me in the butt.

I have so many thoughts running through my head. Too many and too fast to try to type, never to be spoken as I am now.  At least I can see typo’s because I type so slow. Most of the time. That brain thing is so fucked up. My speech pathologist mentioned Friday that how I built my knowledge base may make it more difficult for me to use generic rehabilitation tools. For instance, I usually type the word any as “amy”. I don’t see it until the 3rd or 4th time I reread what I’ve written. But pathology or neurology is ok, because I have to think about the keys to type. I see immediately that I missed a key. My lexicon. The Spelling Bee Champ still handles the more complicated words, but easy throw-away words, they are hard. I couldn’t remember definite the other day and it still haunts me. That is why me reading slowed and non-fiction appeals to me now. Non-fiction teaches and I am desperate for education.

I can read fiction much faster I found, but I don’t remember what I have read. Fractions and snippets, but a non-fiction? I know thoughts, cadence, obscure points, a jaunty retort. I remember and speak of them. With fiction? It’s s good book. I like that author. And that’s the thing. I remember the previous stories by that author. I remember the story arc and the connections. A reason why I have reread only 2 books ever. Your perception changes as you grow older. There are many books I want to reread now that I’ve had a stroke. War & Peace is one of them. Call of the Wild, The Stand (number 3 if that happens), even Lord of the Rings. The Classics, Shakespeare Wordsworth, Longfellow, Byron, Dickens, even the drivel of the Bronte sisters when not zombified.  Hey,  read both versions. I have read so much. I miss summer breaks. I put that time to good use. I expanded my brain. Thank goodness I did. The stroke was devastating, but at least I used more than average, so I had more to work with that had already been trained. That became more important than I would have initially thought. My brainiac persona paid off in the most basic sense.

I still have resources, but I can’t access much of it as it pertains to work. My memories are still there, but how I accomplished all that I have to relearn. How I did that is missing. Not lost, but I can’t reach it yet, if ever. I don’t know. and I don’t have a doctor to advise me. I have a new neurologist, but she has to meet me, diagnose and make decisions based on my baseline. That will take months. Months I lost due to incompetent previous doctors who never referred me to a brain doctor for a brain injury

I have filed complaints with the medical board and they will research my care records and see what I lacked, what the Stroke Foundation recommends for recovery and rehabilitation for stroke survivors. Please visit stroke.org and educate yourself so when someone, or you, have one you are somewhat prepared. Please improve your life and never stop learning. It will help you when you least expect it. Stroke is the 5th leading cause of death. 20% of those who suffer a stroke die.

Yippee. I didn’t die. It will happen, and it may be quickly and by my own will, because I will have no other recourse.

I managed a positive thought! That is part of my being and something that just comes naturally. Thank God, I haven’t lost that. I hope I never do. I consider it one of my best qualities, part of my morality. Along with seeing all humans as equal and the same, regardless of heritage or language of status in life. We are all the same. Pity it isn’t a shared thought by the majority of individuals, especially the man who holds the highest office in our land. And it is an “Office”, not a dictatorship. He does not own it and it isn’t something you make money from, even if you also own golden towers or acres of manicured lawns that you whack a little white round ball on for enjoyment or pleasure. I heard  those places have a hefty membership fee.

On the 6th we will have an anniversary of sorts. It will be the 50th Anniversary of Robert Kennedy’s assignation.  I was alive, but only 3 years old. Well, almost 3; 14 days shy. I remember my Mom crying in front of the TV. I remember her sadness and I didn’t know why. It was a rare show of humanity on her part. It was another great loss for our Country. He would have accomplished great things.  But he was stopped. We need to remember those we have lost. The good ones, and the bad so we don’t repeat those mistakes. We learn from history. We are doomed to repeat it if we don’t. You want another Hitler? The rise of hatred, White Power, Fascism will bring another wave of hate that will destroy our world and do we want millions die? For what? To Make America Great Again? How did we become Not Great? Because we had a Black President of 8 years? The current President is unilaterally dismantling everything that the previous President fostered in a belief that he was improving our nation. Obama tried, but too many saw his changes as detrimental to the Nation’s status quo. It was progress. But that “root” must be extinguished due to “progressives”  being ungodly heathens. Tell me, what have Republicans done to improve poverty. making medical care affordable for all, making medications affordable and accessible to children, seniors or disabled, fighting for women’s rights over their own bodies or safety or against harassment without fear of dismissal, defamation or outrage for actually speak truth. Let’s elect a twice-divorced misogynist as President who uses “locker-room” talk and vulgar comments when referring to women he doesn’t like, can’t have or isn’t attracted to.  Or has an affair while his 3rd wife is pregnant with his youngest legitimate child. Men are no different, because that pathetic grade school bully attacks them to.

Can you tell I am not impressed or supportive of our President. Oops, sorry. If I loose readership – bye bye! I’m not being vulgar, or like him. It’s still a free country and we still have the 1st Amendment, and He doesn’t like that. Sad. Did I just hear a bowl clearing splash? Someone just dropped a load.

My cynicism flag is waving proudly…and loudly. Oh, and I’m a proud defender of LGQBT, even before my Brother-in-Law died from AIDs. I have believed in equality since I was a kid. Equality for all regardless of color, religion, political belief or opinion. I like battling wits with the morally insufficient, or “challenged”. My first bumper sticker read “I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person”. It fit. I wish I still had it.

Now you know more about me. Should I die? I’m waging my war against time and my survival. There is so much to write. One tiny soapbox in a large noisy world. This little soapbox doesn’t want to be silenced.

As a remnder https://www.gofundme.com/wants-to-live

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Morning Quarterbacking

It’s Monday. Historically Moaning Monday because that’s what I did when heading to work to tackle all those things left over from Friday. Or Saturday. Or whatever deadline I missed because there was too much to get done, even after 14 hour days and working Saturday. A workaholics life. Living the dream! Yeah, not so much unless you count nightmares as dreams.

I miss that. I thrived in that environment. Have to do one thing at a time without distraction now. It’s opposite world and it SUCKS!

I have a lot on my mind lately, so I’ve been out of sorts and scatter-brained. Being scatter-brained takes getting used to. I never experienced that before the stroke. New life with an old mindset. It’s still trying to be as it was before, but that’s harder now since some bits are missing. It’s creating new neurons, new connections, new pathways. Construction is noisy and causes its own distractions. I can’t win, I just have to accept. Bleh! Did I mention this sucks? I’m more inclined to using an “f” word, but I don’t this to become to “blue”. I love George Carlin, but I have to consider my audience. And I have a niece and she doesn’t need to see Auntie cussing like a sailor.

But, when one topic raises its ugly head, I would probably make a longshoreman blush. What the frack did we get in the White House? Drain the swamp? It’s a toxic bog now. God, he pisses me off. Pussy grabbing freak. His poor wife. What she puts p with! The embarrassment. The regret. The lack of respect for her. His lack of respect for humanity.  Gah! He is the Worst President Ever!

Immigrants, Mexican’s, all brown people are part of MS13, rapists and murders. Dude, MS13 is a gang HERE. It was created HERE. That’s like saying all black people are part of the Blood’s or Crip’s. Dunce. Someone from Jamaica isn’t part of a gang because they are from Jamaica. If your brain won’t explode from the stress, READ A BOOK. Christ. You’re promoting stupidity.   You’re King of that group. That village of idiots.

He makes me so mad! Fake media, fake news, lies pouring from his ugly face every time there’s a microphone in range. His minions are the same. They just parrot his crap. Make America Great Again? Was it so bad when a black man was in charge? The GOP screwed it up, but that’s what they do. GOP cut taxes? Never. GOP cut back spending? That is laughable. ROFLMAO! Make the rich richer, starve the poor to death. They can’t manage anyway, so get rid of them. Old and poor? You’ve lived and didn’t make enough, so hurry up and die. If you are disabled, your family better take care of you, cause America needs her guns and ammo and tanks and a perpetual war machine to scar the carp out of anyone. Ho-yah MF!

We spread destruction and death and we have those who promote it gleefully. Strange, they are GOP too. Like one dude who seriously needs a barber. Walrus much?

Palestinians. Not to detract from what the Jews suffered,  but aren’t they doing that to the Palestinians?

A brief history lesson – I know this because I READ. WPOTUS doesn’t. I doubt he’s read the Bible. He just misquotes it enough. I have read the Bible, both testaments, and the Koran. Jews and Muslims don’t believe Jesus is the son of God, but Jews, Muslims and Christians ALL believe in Moses and Abraham. The Koran even sites Miracles Jesus performed as a Holy Prophet. It’s a mess for these monotheistic religions. They war on because each one is individually right in their minds. We are all human, and we all use GOD, we just use different words to express His name.

Palestine should be its own State. It had a right to exist as much as Israel. Jerusalem is a holy city as much as the Vatican. The Holy Mount is holy for Muslims and Jews and should be shared between the three, not dedicated to just one. Jews have excluded Christians and Muslims in stating Jerusalem is their exclusive seat of government. Tel Aviv was appropriate. Leave Jerusalem out of it. Settlements in the Palestinian territories in just wrong. Killing Palestinians, Men, Women and Children at the gates that shut them in is heinous. There will be no peace while they continue to do this. They want safety? What about those who are bombed because they are Muslim? The majority wasn’t always Muslim. They were mostly Christian, until the younger generations realized as Christians they were isolated and alone. I know this from first hand accounts and history from Lebanese, Jordanians, Syrians, Saudi’s, Iranian’s, even Iraqi’s.   I knew a woman who still had her Palestinian passport, title for her home and lands, proof of her life that the Jews, and Americans/British/French took to make Israel. The harrowing days when the soldiers came and told her family to get out because a Jewish family would get her property. She was Christian. Her husband dead, killed in the conflict, her children safe because asylum had  been secured by a dear friend. Asylum in the United States. What the US took away, she got a portion back. A safe home for her and her kids, not the groves of olive trees or the vast horizon. Safety drenched in sadness.

How many are still like her? Can’t feed their kids, can’t work, can’t feel safe, can;t expect a happy life for their children? We have done it again and “we” blame the Palestinians for being difficult. For wanting their own country again. A two-state solution. Israel and the United States have thrown that out with last weeks trash haul. Bebe and BLOTUS killed that notion with a silver bullet. Shame on them. Is it worth it boys? Opening an embassy in Jerusalem the prize? You disgust me.

That school shooting, again, in Texas…who is that different than the Palestinian’s who lost their lives by Israeli bullets? Israeli’s were pissed at the pressing crowds, a 17-year old was pissed at teachers and classmates because he had been bullied and misunderstood. Good guy with a gun will silence the bad gun with a gun? That nonsense again. One faction saw innocent people as wrong and deserved death. Got your guns? Shoot the problem. That solves everything to one faction on society.

And the last bit from this lying WPOTUS. You can’t slap huge Golden letters on the side of the White House, not call Mir-a-lago the Southern White House. You’re a Real Estate Developer, and have many failed projects and bankruptcies. You have used your name and notoriety to make it work in the past. The Art of the Deal (read it, meh) is a grand scheme, kinda like a Ponzi Scheme. You’re a grifter, a con-man, a mob boss. A scam. Your university shut down in ruin. Had to pay a pretty penny to avoid jail time, didn’t you. Russia is a witch hunt? How many indictments? How many have pleaded guilty? How many are cooperating before going to trail? Messy witch hunt, if you ask me. Putin’s puppet that’s what you are. That rubber/glue argument? Well, you’re very sticky glue and Hillary is rubber. You keep throwing stuff and it just mads on you. You are tar and feathering yourself you old peacock. Ratings are high because we love a train wreck.

Enough bitching for today. Let me end on a high note…..John McCain is an American Hero. He has served our country well in War and Peace and has held himself proudly. Thank you, Sir, for your service to our country and your constituency. I almost voted for you, and would have if you’d run against the prick in office. It was an almost in 2008. But Sarah? Nope. Couldn’t do it.  Part-Time Palin was a mistake. I still admire you, Sir. You’re human and we all make mistakes in judgement. My Dad proved that a lot.

One last thing, President Bone Spurs, you are a disgrace to those serving and every man and woman who has ever worn the uniform of any United States Military Service. John McCain served with honor, gave up his physicality for the US, served it’s people as a Senator. You don’t like prisoners of war? What else don’t you like? Desecrated ranks? Darkies serving our nation? You are a disgusting human. What else you got to diss Veteran’s? Shut the fuck up you piece of shit. You couldn’t shine McCain’s shoes  if you begged. “He’s going to die anyway”, is a flippant remark allowed in your White House? You are a loser President Bone Spurs, aka BLOTUS, aka WPOTUS ever. Impeachment wouldn’t be enough for what you have done or overseen.  Handcuffs and a one-way ticket to Alcatraz is what you deserve. Hell, if you want to re-establish Guantanamo, why not Alcatraz?  Your fat butt couldn’t swim the Bay anyway. You’d be a tasty meal for a few Great Whites. They like whales.

Sundry thoughts on a Sunday

First, just to get it the point of the way, that dude Blakenship that’s running for office in West Virginia? Former CEO of Massey Energy and a coal baron found guilty of conspiracy to willfully violate safety standards resulting in the death of 29 coal miners.  Since the jury was deadlocked on the possibility of the full charge which carried a 31-year term, he was found guilty of the misdemeanor which carried a 1-year mandatory term.  Ah, the Big Boss didn’t get the book thrown at him. Pity. He thinks he can run for the US Senate?  Calling Senator McConnell’s in-laws “China Family”? He used Black Persons too. He is an American Person. Self proclaimed. His word usage leaves much to be desired. His general humanity leaves much to be desired. He is the epitome of someone who should be considered deplorable.

Political statement of the day done. My thoughts still go wild, but I can state a case concisely once more. Yay for me. Oh wait…Trump hasn’t Tweeted today. What’s wrong with him? Trump is never quiet for this long. Ok, I’m done. For now,

I have been going through a hard time: physically, mentally and financially. It has pretty much sucked, since I have been doing it relatively alone. Relatively due to the few folks who have stuck with me, but none are family, just long time friends.

I am actually alone. I am divorced, after 20 years of sharing my life with someone who could never get out of his own way to listen to anyone, especially me. My adopted parents have passed, one to soon and the other not soon enough. I took care of the later for years, but full time for the last 3 years during the worst of Alzheimer’s Dementia her family denied and offered no help. More of that latter. Let’s just say I have been alone for awhile. Except for extraordinary friends who kept me going mentally and emotionally.

I haven’t lived on my own, in my own place, since 1991. A very long time. I now have the chance, the opportunity, to live on my own again. To restore a sense of normalcy to a very un-normal life. But, there is a chance.

I am publicizing my campaign through GoFundMe.com. This is one avenue I am trying to use, even though my home didn’t burn down. I am not a battered woman. Just a woman battered by life and simply beaten down.

Thank you for considering donating. I appreciate all assistance in restoring me to normalcy.

https://www.gofundme.com/wants-to-live